my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Green mimosas i think yes
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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