Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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