My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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