After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
My penis needs a shock collar
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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