It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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