the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
