My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
