He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
