when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
