yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
