Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
smell my finger.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
