Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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