The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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