32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
