All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
