just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
