he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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