I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
