oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
