I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
