Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
