Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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