Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
