We're facebook friends in real life
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
