i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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