i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
