Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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