Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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