Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
