it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
