Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
