I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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