If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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