The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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