Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
