This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize