She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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