i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
