its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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