did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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