quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
