You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
