Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
