Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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