Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
