just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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