Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
