i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You can't just leave with hair like that
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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