I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
