There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
