They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
