I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
