So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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