Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
