I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
