so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
