so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I am naked and annoyed.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
