Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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