i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
