I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
