After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
So vagazzling was a success
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
