About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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